For the next day

"History is written by winners." But surviving losers teach history in their schools, too. If being able to pass on your version of events is a kind of victory, then to live is to win.

And when it comes to people, love, friendship, romance, or the big deal going on at work, where most people live on after the event and many find ways to tell the tale, the truth becomes... well... just an opinion.

One year after the event, you might say: "Oh it was the best thing that I ever did, dude", but in 2 years, you might say "I think it was just sex." In 3 years: "it was the best learning experience ever and I am a better person because of it, God willing", but in 4: "a total fuckin’ waste of my fuckin’ time". [Plus, why the hell are you still talking about it after 4 yerars?!]

That all seem quite harmless, until we try to predict the future based on our unreliable recollections of the past. Snippets, apparently from the past, run through my head, predicting future eventualities most unpleasant. Then other moments are recalled, moments in a gallery, in a kitchen, a chuckle, then peace is regained.

It hasn't been a year yet, but I have already forgotten why I felt so compelled to cry in the middle of the night, squatting against the wall in a narrow corridor. All I remember is that I did.

Some people are decidedly unsuited to long-distance relationships. People who prefer to see things as they are, contented people, people who enjoy adventures, but not by gaming with other people's minds. People who want an interesting but simple life. Most people.

But it's not all or nothing. Short films of unpleasantness habitually roll into everyone's mind when a need is unfulfilled. The need to eat, to sleep, to be mentally stimulated, to hear a voice, to swear, or to get some of that caffeine.

So nothing is all that serious, really. That's a bit sad for me now. But maybe tomorrow, or even in a few hours when I get under my sheets, it'll be a bit happy.